Shhhhh…. Can you keep a secret?
You see the thing is I’m kind of planning a wedding. A second wedding. For both of us. But this time it’s going to be different. Very different.
The thing is that not many people seem to talk about second weddings. All the articles I read first time around, and trust me I read every wedding website I could get my hands on back then, were very much about making the day special (obviously) but also about how getting married was a once in a lifetime thing. Don’t get me wrong – I wasn’t expecting to be in a position to ever be getting married for a second time, especially whilst planning my first wedding – but the truth is that second marriages happen. And third, fourth and even sometimes fifth… Whatever the reasons behind them they are still a day about celebrating love between two people and they deserve to be every bit as special.
But having done all this once before I think we’re both quite set in out ways about what we want and how we want things to work.
If I’m completely honest with myself, I’m not sure that everything at my first wedding was how I wanted it to be. I did have a wonderful day, but as the planning went on there were some decisions that were made that were compromises, or done to make other people happy. Whether that be friends, family members or the person I was marrying.
There were some details that just didn’t matter to me at all, but as other people thought they were important I felt that we had to have them. I could never understand the point of having wedding favours, but it seems that some guests noticed their absence. I’ve been to weddings were the favours were so individual and really stood out (homemade hedgerow gin at a very country themed wedding is one particular one) but then I’ve also come home with jars of sweets that ended up being put into a school tombola a couple of months later! Hours were spent on a seating plan. Not the mechanics of who was going to sit next to who, but making it all look pretty on a big bit of cardboard. To be honest having it printed out on a piece of A4 would have worked for me just as well.
So what is important for me this time around?
Only one thing. Marrying the man I love.
After that I want the family we love around us to help us celebrate our special day. But this time I’m going to organise all this for us. What we want.
I don’t really care about what anyone is wearing or where we go to eat and drink afterwards. Or even if we do go on anywhere. Just a mug of celebration tea back home would do me, as long as it was with the people I love.
I want to make the day special to the two of us, but I’m not sure that what is special to us need necessarily be what everyone else would want. I want our wedding to be as individual as we are. There are some little details that I plan, but they might have to remain surprises for the big day itself. Whenever that might be…
Photo by Ben Rosett on Unsplash
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