Dating isn’t necessarily easy at the best of times, but if you’ve already got children it can add a whole extra dimension of complexity. If you let it. It needn’t do so though. Believe it or not, there are people out who want to date someone who already has children from an existing relationship, no matter what age the kids are.
Obviously if you’re in the senior dating category it might almost be expected that you already have kids. If you’re younger though it’s something that you might want to declare early on in any new relationship, ideally even before it gets to the “relationship” stage. The last thing you want is to fall for someone, then tell them that you have kids and find that they can’t bear the idea of having little ones around. Your kids are part of your life, and rightly so. Any new partner needs to be able to accept from the start that you come as part of a package with your kids. I’m not saying that you need to go as far as including photos of them on your online dating profile, but when talking to someone new for the first time try and get it into the conversation so that there are no secrets or surprises. Ask them if they have kids too. After all this is a two way thing.
Children can provide a logistical challenge when it comes to dating. Babysitters may let you down or kids can get sick. Or something else entirely may crop up. Go with the flow. Yes, it is disappointing if something like that happens when you’re looking forward to a date, but the right person will hang around and understand. If your kids stay with their other parent sometimes that might be a good time to schedule some of your dates, as they may be more relatable than a babysitter and less likely to be unable to cover if a child is ill. Obviously, that’s not an option for everyone. If both you have kids then juggling diaries can end up like a military planning operation. Shared calendars and notice of everyone’s work schedules is imperative, along with an idea of when each of you has your kids staying with you. It’s not easy, but can be very worthwhile.
When it comes to introducing your kids to your new date this needs to be done incredibly sensitively. Only you can judge when the right time is for your kids and when that is will depend on a whole heap of things. Everything from how long you have been single for, to whether or not they still see their other parent, how sensitive they are in general, and what else is going on in their lives. Think also about how you’re going to tell them. Depending on the age of your child it might not be appropriate to introduce them over breakfast one morning. Introducing someone as a friend and just allowing them to accompany you on a trip to the park or playground might be better. Let your children guide you though and make sure you put their needs ahead of their own, even when you’re all caught up in the excitement of a new romance.
Whatever your situation, whether you have kids or not, there is someone out there for all of us. It’s just a case of finding them. From Cheshire dating and a Cumbria dating agency in the North, to Buckinghamshire dating and a Hampshire dating agency in the South, chances are that your Mr or Mrs Right is somewhere online, looking for you.
Couple’s feet image from Shutterstock.
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