‘Silence isn’t golden, and it surely doesn’t mean consent, so start practicing the art of communication.’ – T.D. Jakes
Engaging in bed with your partner is a part of a relationship. However, it is equally important to consent to making love and engaging in intercourse. You may have heard the consent on many news channels, social media platforms, and in public discussions. But it is rare to listen to it in schools or an official relationship. Interestingly, support is essential in every relationship. One must water the basis of consent from childhood. Kids who become grownups with clarity of consent end up being good partners and considerate human beings. This article mentions the importance of support in your relationship and how it affects a person’s credibility.
What is consent, and how do you figure out if something is not consensual?
Here we discuss consent in a healthy relationship where two people make love and indulge in
Intimate romance. You seek consent from your partner before getting involved in the act of intimacy. It is verbal and can be revoked at any time during the show. Experts advise giving verbal and clear consent from your partner or anyone you are indulging in intimate love. The conversation is the key to getting explicit permission from the counterpart.
It is helpful for a good love-making time but also is necessary to upkeep your credibility. For instance, if someone is falsely accused of sexual assault, you can defend yourself using the consent point. According to an expert sex crime representation attorney, consent plays an important role in protecting the accused. Therefore, it is vital that you understand the importance of permission and how your partner should verbally agree to the act.
What does consent look like in communication?
In simple words, communication throughout the process means consent. There is a thin line between saying no and keeping silent. You can not and must not proceed when unsure of the answer. Assumption during love making is considered the worst enemy. Be open about your wants, likes, and fantasies with your partner. If you are honest and clear in communicating your needs and listening to your partner but sometimes get stuck with whether to proceed or not, you can use the following questions before proceeding;
- Is this okay?
- Are you comfortable if we move?
- Do you feel like going further?
It is important to understand that consent is not gender-based. There are no rules for who can initiate intimacy. Hence, the more comfortable you are with your partner, the better and easy it is to talk about consent.
What does not look like consent?
The worst enemy of consent is the myth that when you are in a relationship or if someone has done it once, they will be okay to do it again. The main rule is if you are into something for the 5th time, you have to get a yes for an answer for the 5th time. It would help if you did not assume anything. Apart from this, other non-consensual cases can be:
- Guilting and pressuring someone into doing something they do not want to
- Suggesting that they owe you something because of something you did for them earlier
- Reacting with anger, sadness, or resentment to denial
- Ignoring the indications from their verbal or non-verbal
Every person has the right to their body, so the final decision is theirs if they want to do something or not. Nobody, irrespective of gender, should force anyone into doing something they do not agree with or are uncomfortable doing.
How does consent help maintain a healthy relationship?
A common saying is that a relationship works well if the two people are open and honest about everything. It is an equal partnership, so it stays true everywhere. Whether you are in bed or at a grocery store, you should not be making decisions for your partner. Also, ignoring your partner’s no may make them feel cornered. So, starting today, take consent into practice to keep the understanding in your relationship. Lastly, nobody wants to stay in a relationship where they are not comfortable. Providing your partner with a comfort level is your responsibility. It works both ways, irrespective of gender. Your love should make the relationship a safe space for your partner and not a confined jail. The pressure of doing things non-consensually has a deep psychological impact on people.
In a nutshell, it is every individual’s responsibility to ask for consent and only indulge in activities when they are sure that the other person is willingly doing it.