As the saying goes, “Tough times don’t last, but tough people do.”
Tough times will come in both personal lives and even as a family. No one wants this. Sadly, it’s the cycle of life. Sometimes it’s the death of a family member; sometimes, it’s someone diagnosed with a life-threatening disease, bankruptcy, or the like.
And these things lead to negative emotions in each family member.
Possible effects of challenging times on family members
Some reactions that may occur following a challenging event or difficult period include:
- Fears that another unpleasant event will follow
- Anger directed at a family member
- Everyone’s angry or sad because of the situation
- Insecurity in children
- Conflict between partners
- A disconnect between the spouses in their sexual relationship
- Broken, weird communication because family members no longer know what to say to each other
- Parents become irritable and distant from their children
- Children’s school performance drops
- Parents’ productivity at work drops.
But the good news is that no matter what your family is going through, staying connected can serve as a way of pulling your collective strength together. This can help each individual stay motivated until the smoke clears.
However, the challenge is, how can you keep a family relationship strong in the face of adversity when everything seems so bleak?
8 helpful things to do
1. Battle your situation together rather than individually
The best way to keep your family relationship strong during tough times is to spend time together even more than you’ve ever done. Staying connected is essential for well-being; rather than drifting apart and battling your emotions individually, do it as a team.
You can call everyone together in the evening. Talk about your feelings. Talk about the situation and how your mind can’t get off it.
By doing so, you’re promoting open communication, encouraging every other member to share their feelings. Talking about the situation can help you feel better, even when it doesn’t solve the challenge at hand.
This attitude fills the air with “we’re in this together” so that everyone knows they’re not battling the sadness alone. It calls for general support, each person comforting the other even as they are comforted.
2. Exude a sense of control
From meal times to chores and bedtimes, going about your normal routine can help preserve a sense of security around the house during hardships. That will serve as a cue to your little ones as your sense of control can influence their actions.
Avoid feeling out of control, as this will rub off badly on those who look up to you. Eat together as you usually do, and engage in chores together. When you feel powerless, routines give you a sense of control.
3. Perform a family ritual
During times of hardship in the family, performing a family ritual can be a way to spark up joy in hearts darkened with grief. Whether it’s a birthday celebration, family dinner, or daily meditation, family rituals can help members feel a sense of security, identity, and belonging. But the best part about it is how it encourages the family to work together excitedly, prepping towards the occasion.
Whatever family ritual you indulge, it doesn’t have to be lavish, especially when you’re in a financial crisis. If it’s a birthday celebration, inform everyone else, and create a little surprise for the celebrant. Practicing daily rituals like prayers and meditation will ensure your family does something together daily, preventing a total disconnect.
4. Pray together
Even though you haven’t been very religious, tough times can be the perfect time to help your family increase their faith. Pray aloud and meditate together, read inspiring books that help towards the perfecting of the saints. Get insight into teachings that can help you feel protected from the wickedness of the world.
Having the conviction that there’s a greater power looking over you can give you a sense of security that things will eventually work out.
5. Offer a listening ear
There is so much healing power in listening. You’d be surprised at how helpful you can be just by listening to someone’s pain. Even when you have nothing to say, listening shows you’re concerned, and the person derives some relief by sharing their burden.
Saying a few positive words can be of immense help to someone in a trying position. Therefore, it’s best to encourage communication rather than having each family member bottling up feelings.
6. Make time for fun
As a parent, the rest of the family can always take your cue. If you’re always gloomy, it will reflect exponentially in your kids. The same applies to when you express some life.
You can schedule a day to cook or garden together as a family. Go hiking, have a movie night, play family board games. The situation may be dark and hopeless, but these little moments of smiles and laughter will go a long way in helping you all pull through as a family.
7. Seek external support
Sometimes, we try to offer as much help as we can and neglect our own needs. Sometimes we can’t just do it alone. What may be required is professional help.
There are experts who can offer a listening ear while providing useful tips relevant to your unique situation.
If that’s not your thing, turn towards online support groups, work colleagues, friends, or other family members you trust. Share your burden. Even though they can’t help, having someone who understands or has passed through a similar situation can do a world of good.
8. Be active
Tough people last, but it doesn’t always come by folding your arms and acquiescing to the situation. What are you doing about the challenge? If it’s a terminally ill family member, have you tried consulting expert medical professionals? Have you tried seeking help from friends or lenders if it’s a financial crisis you face?
Knowing you’re doing something about your situation can give your family a sense of hope, no matter how slim that is. Seek information and do what it takes to prevent the issue from developing further.
Final words
Challenging times are never a thing to go through alone. There is strength in unity. A family that sticks together during hard times will hold hands again, singing happily as they walk into the sunset.
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