If you are in a long-term relationship, you are probably keen to make sure that you are approaching it in the best way possible. What that actually means is something that you need to think about, as it varies from person to person, but you do need to make sure that you think about it. Something that is always going to be useful and a very good idea generally is trying to maintain a sense of independence in a relationship, no matter what. If you can do that, you are going to find that it really helps you in a number of ways, and it actually makes the relationship itself considerably stronger. Let’s look at some of the things you might do to maintain independence in a relationship as well as possible.
Keeping Your Name
If you are going to get married, then you might want to think about whether or not you are going to take their name. If you are not sure, it is often a good idea to either keep your name – or go for a completely new one altogether. According to research, the name a partner has is a very important issue for many people, so it is absolutely something that you are going to want to think about. And when it comes to being independent, nothing shows that more clearly than choosing what your own name is going to be, regardless of tradition or whatever else might be trying to get in the way and influence you.
Know Your Habits
Everyone has their own specific way of interacting with the world, and you need to understand your own ways as concisely as you can if you hope to ensure that you are operating well within the parameters of the relationship. Knowing your habits and working within them will mean that you are going to feel much more independent, as you are essentially just doing what you want to be doing but still operating within a relationship. That is a good balance to strike, and while it is difficult for many people to do so, it is something that you might want to aim for from the start. Get this right, and it can really help things along nicely.
Doing Things Alone
Importantly, you should make sure that you take time out to do some things by yourself every now and then. If you do literally everything with your partner, then that is going to mean that you end up feeling a little stifled, and essentially you are going to struggle to make things work as well as you could. By doing things alone from time to time, you are going to be in a much better position after all, so it is something that you are going to want to think about early on. Even if it is just occasionally and only for a short while, doing things alone is still always going to be an important thing to do.
We have been conditioned to think that it is healthy and right to want to be codependent with someone else, but this is not really how you should approach things if you want to be healthy in a relationship. In fact, codependency often ends up being a significant problem for the both of you, and it’s something that you are going to want to do away with as best as you can. This is a simple matter of trying purposefully to avoid doing it, and once you make that resolve you will find that it really starts to work in that way. Work on being independent rather than codependent, and you are going to be in a much better position overall.
Remember Your Own Core Values
You have core values, whether or not you are aware of them. If you can do your best to keep in line with them, you are going to find that this really helps you to maintain your independence in a relationship, and in a very powerful way too. If you are struggling to remember or get in touch with your own core values, then you might want to spend some time doing so, which is a simple case of asking yourself what you truly believe and feel about a range of issues. Do that enough, and you will remember what your core values are in no time, and that is going to mean you find it a lot easier to be yourself and maintain independence in a relationship.