It's strange, but at time I get this impression that I want to be some sort of power hungry business woman type. Going to work in my suit and high heels, chairing meetings, giving presentations and trying to run my project to deliver everything that is supposed to deliver. At the time I seem to think that I'm enjoying myself. Then it all gets a bit on top of me, and I realise that actually I'm not enjoying it at all.
It's all too easy though feel caught up in it all and to forget what I really enjoy. I don't really want to be Mrs Corporate, but it's sometime hard working out who I really am. Making time for quiet thought on evenings like tonight helps me remember though.
The growth of late spring, full of green, is far more beautiful than any PowerPoint presentation.
Quietly watching a little moorhen chick swim around is somewhat more satisfying than getting through a meeting agenda.
Examining the delicate beauty of the flowers on cow parsley beats the examination of figures in an excel spreadsheet.
Experiencing it all with the man I love – priceless.
Trying to remember all this when sat in the office, up to my eyes in work – sadly, still extremely difficult., but hopefully getting easier.
Sorry for taking all month to get around to commenting, I remember reading this post as it shot past in the midst of lots of others, but it was one that resonated a little.
If you didn’t have the hustle bustle and hassle of the day job, how would you know when you were enjoying a quiet relaxing stroll in the nature reserve? Without that contrast, would taking things quietly still be as satisfying, or would your memory of being rushed off your feet fade over time and leave you feeling lethargic?
I’m not convinced that the two ideas are entirely exclusive. Setting practicalities like paying mortgages etc aside, how much satisfaction is derived from simply being competent at what you do? If you beat a deadline, or cajole a supplier into actually delivering or defused a ticking customer, do you permit yourself a small smile? If you didn’t have the green of home to escape to, would being able to knock off early of a Friday afternoon still be a small success?
Or is the point that it shouldn’t have to be a victory to get an extra hour or two to yourself, that you shouldn’t need to have any external acknowledgement of a job well done because you Know when you’ve done it, so being able to literally stop and smell roses shouldn’t be a rare treat.
Hmm, I seem to have argued myself into chasing my own tail there, amusing for the spectactors but not strong kungfu. I think my point was supposed to be: without contrast, how would you know there was a balance to maintain?
I agree that it is possible to be satisfied by doing something well at work, but it can take a lot of stress to get to that stage, and I guess that’s the part that I don’t really enjoy.
Maybe I’m just wanting a Good Life, that is not quite possible in this day and age? I’m not too sure. It is true that maybe if you do something good all the time you stop realising just how good it is. A “grass is always greener” thing.
Hmmm – I really do sound quite indecisive don’t I?