Kids are amazing when they are young. They’re cute, they’re funny, and they can’t talk so they don’t give you any problems! When they hit their teenage years, all this stops as the hormones take over their body. For them, it’s a difficult transition which takes time getting used to, and it’s the same for mums and dads.
Stuff you could say and do that wasn’t an issue suddenly causes them to fly off the handle. It’s as if they’re a new person and you don’t know how to handle them. Thankfully, parents before you have been through it and left notes.
Here are the skills which will help you see the light.
Sticking to your guns and not giving in will make things worse in the short-term. When teens don’t get their way, they tend to bear a grudge and make their parents feel terrible. It’s not nice, but it benefits everyone in the long-term. Parents should remember that they are in charge and make the decisions. They won’t always be right, but you can’t outsource the job to your thirteen-year-old or else they’ll take the Mickey. Be firm but fair to maintain your role as the adult and the person in charge.
A Lack Of Guilt
Teenagers aren’t innocent, naïve babies. Most of them realise they have emotional leverage over their parents and will use it regularly. You don’t need to be a therapist to see this because it’s obvious. Kids have done it in the past and will continue to do it in the future. Even when you can see it coming, it’s hard not to let guilt impact your feelings. As a parent, you want to give them everything so it hurts when you disagree and argue. Still, try and be cold when you know you’re in the right. Otherwise, they’ll guilt-trip you for the rest of your life.
It’s not at all psychological warfare. Kids come to their parents for advice and to vent. When they aren’t hard on themselves, their peers will say things which can hurt. They call it “banter” yet it can have a negative effect on a self-conscious kid. Not talking and listening to them are two skills teenagers admire as it means they can go to mum or dad to get things off their chest. You can enrol on a masters in clinical mental health counseling online or learn on the job. Just make sure they can count on you not to add to the judgement.
Times can be tense in the house when teenagers are at home. They aren’t depressed but they are pretty serious, especially with their parents. They like being young and moody yet it can take its toll on grown-ups. You’ve been there, done it and worn the t-shirt, so it gets a little boring after a while. Thankfully, a sense of humour can cut through the seriousness and lift the mood.
Who knows, your teenager might even crack a smile. Do you think that’s possible?!